Sexual Addiction By Tom Joseph Ph.D., L.C.P.C. Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor

by Dr. Tom Joseph Ph.D

 

Sexual Addiction is the insatiable thirst of never being content or secure with true love, intimacy, acceptance, and approval to the point of possibly engaging in; selfish, controlling, risky, unethical, immoral, unnatural, or even violent behaviors that include a sexual experience trying to obtain long term satisfaction with short term immediate gratification.
These behaviors include and are not limited to; prostitution, adultery, infidelity, repetitive and consistent pornography, abortion, and excessive masturbation,
The next set of sexual activities I am about to mention, are extremely addictive in nature, to the point that the person engaging in these behaviors usually believe, for the most part, that they are born with these urges or that these urges have been a part of their nature throughout their life. Also, these abnormal, unnatural sexual behaviors are usually incurable from the stand point that once a person has stepped over the line in deciding they were going to engage in these deviant behaviors, have already had serious mental and emotion issues long before participating in these perversions. Many times these underlying issues have been undetected by family and friends because of the stealthy nature of sexual addicts. Once they engage in these deviant behaviors, the sex addict feels as if they can’t stop. This is what I call “the fish hook syndrome”. You see, once a fish hook is inserted into clothing, flesh or a fish, it is very difficult and almost impossible to pull it out without inflicting major damage. This is what happens once a person begins to engage in the next set of abnormal psychological unnatural sexual activities.
Abnormal mental and psychological sexual disorders that have very serious personal and social consequences are:
Homosexuality, lesbianism, bi-sexuality, transvestite and transgender behavior, rape, pedophilia, sadomasochism, cross dressing, bestiality, exhibitionism, asphyxiophilia, necrophilia, sodomy (of any kind), incest, bigamy, polygamy, partner swapping, orgies, multiple partners, and group sex.
Sometimes and more often then not, These deviant behaviors just mentioned include more then one of these activities simultaneously.
These sexual activities I just mentioned are rooted in extreme self hatred and self contempt. It is also rooted in several possible disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, clinical depression, Anxiety disorders, borderline personality disorder and anti-social personality disorder or what we would call, psychopathic tendencies.
My counsel to the lovers and spouses who find that the person they have been married to, or involved with, have been engaging in these sexual behaviors is to understand that there is a very remote possibility that the sex addict will ever truly stop these behaviors, and that there is most likely going to be serious consequences later on down the road unless strict boundaries with the sex addict is implemented. Implementation should include extensive long term treatment.
Just a few names out of thousands that have harmed society from their sexual addictive behaviors are: Jeffery Dahmer Homosexual a pedophile, and cannibal- His father tried to get him mental help for years before he killed, but to no avail.
Dennis Rader (B.T.K), (Bind, Torture, and Kill) serial killer in the Wichita Kansas area spanning approximately 28 years before he was caught. He was married for over 30 years and was a pillar in his community. He attended a Christian college, and served in the armed forces. He was the president of his Lutheran church and was a great neighbor. But, because of his sexual addiction which was born out of hate, narcissism and hidden depression, Dennis Rader bound, tortured and killed men, women, and children while he climaxed as life left his victims. You see, sex is a very small part of sex addiction. It is a slippery slope once it starts. Dennis Rader was caught and convicted in 2005.
Freddie Mercury of Queen, was a self destructive homosexual of one of the most popular rock bands in history. The rock band was named “Queen” to identify with homosexual transgender prostitutes known as “drag queens”.
Ted Bundy and Gary Ridgeway (the Green River Killer) these are all just a few of a very long list of people that have stepped into the fishhook syndrome.
There are many others who have been caught in sexual deviant addictive behaviors that stunned the nation, and that were very popular TV preachers, and priests who had sexual addictions. Just to name a few: Jimmy Swaggart (caught paying hookers in New Orleans), Ted Haggard paying a homosexual male massage therapist, and propositioning young men in his large evangelical church he Pastored in Colorado Springs. And there are thousands of sexual assaults on children from homosexual Catholic Priests.
This is why the Bible is specific about these sexual behaviors and why you must get help if you are connected to a person with sexual addictions in any way.